Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Cultural Denial & Abuse of Human Sexuality & its Results!

Male Prostate Problems; Male Violence;
Frustrated Females!

Boyé Lafayette De Mente

Homo sapiens are indisputably members of the animal kingdom, notwithstanding the fact that as many as one-fourth or more of all members of humanity deny this relationship.

The taxonomic designation of modern man as homo sapiens literally means “thinking man”—or to be more politically correct “thinking human being,” since women are definitely members of the same species. But this designation is, in fact, questionable.

Given the history of mankind and today’s current events, it appears that the label homo sapiens is more often wrong than right. But to be fair, it is only a small portion of humanity that gives human beings a bad name—that small portion that destroys and tortures and kills in a way not seen in the rest of the animal kingdom.

And this alone should be enough for those who deny the animal origins of humanity and claim a divine creation to step back and ponder the implications of their beliefs. It takes an awful lot of rationalizing to explain away the inhumanity of large numbers of humans whom no benign god would create, or put up with.

Most people, including those who claim a divine origin for mankind (even with all of our blemishes and faults) do recognize and admit that in the lower order of animals (if you can get lower than human beings!), male-female relationships have historically been controlled by the biggest and strongest males in whatever group was concerned.

These big strong male animals are typically referred to (by professionals who study such things) as alpha males—which is something like “first males” (as in “first lady” when referring to the wife of a president), since “alpha” means the “first” of anything.”

And again despite the classification of human beings as homo sapiens (and despite any claims of a divine origin for mankind), from the dawn of humanity it was alpha males who made the rules, got first choice of the females and often kept exclusive rights to as many of them as possible.

Civilization Puts a Kink in the Sex Life of Males

Civilization put a kink in the sexual monopoly of big strong males. After the advent of larger organized societies most men, officially at least, had to limit themselves to just one mate at a time, but in most societies males made sure they still had access to mistresses, concubines, harems and prostitutes.

Then along came Judaism, Christianity and Islam—all of which were created and controlled by men and all of which established “god-given” laws controlling the sexual behavior of men and women, with the laws naturally skewered in favor of men. In these male-created and controlled religions, females were a godly after-thought, created to serve men.

As time went by, overly zealous Christian popes and theologians—all males and often men who didn’t like women—began to preach that women were naturally evil and would seduce and debase men if they had the slightest opportunity. They then created a world in which women had to deny and suppress their sexuality, resulting in indescribable frustration and suffering to the point that mental and physical ailments among women became common.

And, of course, in Moslem societies the ruling clerics (in the name of god, of course), sanctioned the primitive alpha male concept of sexual behavior, allowing men to have several wives and to treat women in general as inferior shadows, not to be seen or heard. What all of the ancient world’s alpha males and all of the religious clerics, ministers, popes, priests, shamans, or whatever they are called misunderstood or ignored was the fundamental sexual nature of human beings.

These misguided and ego-driven men denied or ignored the fact that among all members of the animal kingdom, including human beings, sexuality comes right after survival in the built-in gene-powered drive. Furthermore, human beings, unlike some of our lower-order relatives, are “in heat” all the time. This especially applies to males.

If Gods Were Actually in Charge!

If gods were actually in charge of human nature and had any control over human behavior you certainly would not expect them to complicate their responsibility by making men and women so sexual...and then allow their Earthly agents to create extraordinary barriers designed to prevent men and women from engaging in sex at will…even labeling sex a mortal sin except under carefully prescribed circumstances that favored men!

No matter which way or how often this male-designed world is white-washed it is both irrational and inhuman.

Of course, there were enough valid social and political reasons for male leaders of early societies and religions to curb the sexual behavior of men and women. But the way they went about it was both inhuman and cruel. First of all, they put most of the blame on women, accusing them of not being able to control their sexual nature and therefore being a clear and present danger to society.

Some of the measures promoted or condoned by the Christian Church during the so-called Middle Ages to control female sexual behavior are hardly believable today.

Beginning in the 11th century, European leaders launched a series of religious-inspired military campaigns against Middle East countries in an attempt to “free” Jerusalem and the other “Holy Cities” from their Moslem occupiers. These so-called “Crusades” against Islamic countries continued for approximately three hundred years.

During this incredibly long period of pope-backed wars some men had their wives outfitted with “chastity belts”—iron thong-like devices that were locked in place to prevent the women from being able to have sexual intercourse with other males while the husbands were away doing their religious duty.

Most of these lockable iron “chastity belts” were apparently made in Italy, where their manufacture and use was promoted by the Catholic Church. [Even farther out than this device was an older practice among ancient slave holders to have the foreskin of the penises of their adult male slaves sewn tight, leaving only a tiny hole for urination, to discourage them from engaging in sexual intercourse with any woman—another extreme to which men have gone in the past to control sexual behavior.]

Ironically, most of the glory-hungry knights who left Europe in their zeal to capture the “Holy Land” never returned home. Some 20 percent of them were killed in battle, and some 60 or 70 percent of them died from the plague and other diseases.

History also notes, not surprisingly, that many women managed to get around the iron chastity belts by one means or another, including having a second key made by willing locksmiths.

According to a number of totally unreliable sources on the Internet some form of chastity belts continued to be used in Europe well after the end of the Crusades, and, in fact, into modern times. Such is the terrible hold that religious beliefs have on both men and women.

Why the Male Prostate Gland Gets Big! And this is bringing us closer to what I believe is probably the direct cause of enlarged prostates and urination problems that plague so many men after they reach the age of 60 or so.

In the case of human beings, the sexual nature of people is exhibited before they are born—at least before male babies are born. Scanning devices clearly show that male babies frequently have penile erections when they are still in womb. After male babies are born the frequency of erections gradually increases as they mature.

A rough calculation indicates that after birth the typical male has a complete or partial erection anywhere from two to five or six times every 24 hours, with many of these occurring during sleep.

Every time an erection occurs a certain amount of stress is put on the prostate gland and the gonads. The longer the erection lasts the stronger the buildup of stress. This stress buildup is a kind of energy that impacts negatively on both the body and mind of the male.

Because of the sexual energy that builds up during erections most boys learn that the pressure can be relived by masturbating, and by the time they reach puberty most masturbate regularly. But they cannot masturbate every time they have an erection because there are rules against doing it in public (so to speak).

Apparently the primary reason why there is very little if any literature on the incidence of prostate and urination problems in pre-modern times is that most men did not live long enough for such problems to develop. Until the 20th century the average life-span of males even in industrialized countries was below 50.

In advanced countries today men are living into their 70s and 80s and beyond, and during these long life-spans they are having far more erections per day and night than was normal for males in the past.

In addition to this natural phenomena, by the time boys in the United States and some other countries are in their mid-teens they have advanced to necking with girl friends, during which they typically have full, hard, unrelieved erections for as long as an hour or more. This results in significantly increasing the buildup of stress in their prostate glands and gonads—often to the point that it is extremely painful.

Furthermore, the amount of sexual titillation that present-day males of all ages are exposed to for several hours a day on television, in magazines, movies, etc., is incredible, and dramatically increases the incidence of regular, daily sexual stress that is not relieved—even by masturbation.

If you assume that a male has a partial or complete erection only five times every 24-hour period and lives to be 60 years old that amounts to a total of 109,500 erections. I am sure you can assume that these erections were not “used” more than about 100 times a year, for a total of 6,000 during the 60-year period. This leaves well over 100,000 unrelieved sexual arousals.

The negative impact this accumulation of stressed-out periods has on the prostate gland has to be horrific—and I believe is the primary cause of enlargement of the prostate gland...and may also be associated with the incidence of prostate cancer.

For every year beyond 60 that you add to the lifespan of men you have at least an additional 1,800-plus erections—and despite old wives tales you might have heard, normal, healthy men in their 60s and 70s do get hard-ons, and suffer when they are not used.

It’s Not a Laughing Matter!

Those who are tempted to laugh this problem off as something that is not really serious would be well advised to consider that unrelieved sexual stress among males is one of the primary sources of all of the male-generated violence that has plagued mankind from the beginning.

The longer normal, healthy males go without releasing the natural buildup of sexual energy the more apt they are to engage in some kind of violence—from abusing their wives and children to taking their frustrations out on other members of society—or engaging in other kinds of destructive behavior.

As I have observed so many times, when a man gets hard on the bottom he gets soft on the top—meaning he cannot think in clear, rational terms and is likely to do irrational things when in a state of sexual arousal.
So, what is the solution to the problem of all of the erections males get and have no opportunity to use?

Masturbation is generally effective when early teenage boys are concerned. But masturbation is not the ideal solution for adult men. It relieves the physical stress somewhat but not all of the mental/emotional stress—and the relief is short-lived.

One aspect of the problem of sex-deprived males and the incredible amount of violence in the country in the United States is the prison system. With over one million men in American prisons the potential for sex-stress related violence is extreme.

Some countries allow men in prison to have conjugal visits from their wives and girls friends…a special privilege they may have to pay for, but at least that is better than the American way.

Two Suggestions

I have two suggestions for resolving the problem of human sexuality in a way that would serve both society and the real needs of males and females.

First, I recommend that from around the age of 15 teenage boys and girls be formally and officially allowed to engaged in sexual intimacy with partners of their choice after they have been informed about the dangerous of sexually transmitted diseases and provided with the means to protect themselves, and after they have been instructed in preventing pregnancy and provided with the means to do so.

This would eliminate most of the sexual stress that afflicts younger unmarried males and females; it would help prevent these same people from growing up to have a variety of harmful sexual hang-ups; it would hopefully eliminate most of the obsession with sexual titillation that now passes as entertainment; and it could help teens become more responsible adults in their sexual relationships.

My second suggestion is that married men and woman should be free to have “civilized, harmonious affairs” with other partners without any negative affects whatsoever on their marriage—something that would no doubt roil the “me-only” ego of many males.

But the positive benefits of this custom could be miraculous. Men who didn’t want to lose their wives would be better husbands. Women who didn’t want to lose their husbands would be better wives.

And, part of this custom would be that men and women who did not have spouses would be perfectly free to have consensual intimate relationships with anyone of their choice.

If these practices were to be followed, there would be far less sexual frustration among both men and women, the tendency for male violence would be reduced dramatically, men would surely have fewer prostate problems, and the world would be a saner, happier place.

Copyright © 2007 by Boye Lafayette De Mente.

Of course, dramatic changes are already taking place in the sexual practices of Americans. If you are interested in a scenario that goes much further than my suggestions—and is, in fact, steadily becoming reality—see my novel EROS’ REVENGE—Brave New World of American Sex, available as an ebook. To go to the book’s Internet “buy page,” click on the title. To see a list of my 50-plus other books on how business is done in China, Korea and Japan; on the cultures and languages of these countries, and on the sexual behavior of the people, go to

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